Here’s a riddle I’ve been trying to answer since the start of the year: If I’m too drained to read, too consumed to blog, too tired to go to the gym and too exhausted to play, why?

Most people would blame work. Work is the most common excuse for our lack of time for ourselves. Very logical.

But just now I think I may have found the answer. And it’s not as simple as we think. It’s a vicious cycle that we put ourselves in. You read it right, it’s not work, it’s us. Okay, to absolve any other innocent parties of this blame I place on us, I will use “I” instead of “we”.

At work, I feel I have low energy. I can’t think straight and can’t keep focus. When I get home, I feel too drained to read, as if any other information that tries to enter my brain will not. When I get to the gym, I feel that my running is slow and my stamina can’t handle my usual work out. When I think of something to write, I come up blank because I’m uninspired. And when I try to play, I think about the work I have yet to accomplish for the next day, and then I get too tired to play. When I wake up in the morning, it’s the same cycle all over again.

I’m lethargic all day long. Figured it out yet? The answer is sleep. Yes, I don’t get enough sleep. I sleep at 1-2 am and wake up at 8 am. That is my fault and not work’s. After giving it more thought, yeah, lack of sleep causes all that. It not only causes me to feel drained, it also gets me sick easier. Coffee only reinforces the habit of not getting enough sleep. How many of us are guilty of this? *counts raised cyber hands*

How is this related to work, aside from the obvious? Well, both an old boss and a good friend of mine, Marissa, have told me to “take care of yourself, because the company won’t.” This is a truth. This doesn’t mean that the company doesn’t care. It does, that’s why you have leave benefits and health plans. But to take care of yourself is something no one else can do (hence yourself).

I’ve really been struggling with trying to give myself the right amounts of sleep for the past few years. It’s tougher now because we have so many distractions around us. Technically, everything I mentioned above, is a distraction for sleep. Reading, playing, blogging, going to the gym. I consider them distractions because they compete with sleep for the same resource it needs–our time. As one of my college professors put it, “Why do we want to kill time? There’s so much to do!” I’m thinking that if I get more sleep, I’ll be able to practice Time Management better (because I’ll be able to focus more on being disciplined). It’s something I have to test for myself.

Right now, I’m still losing the war against lack of sleep. But at least I won the battle against not blogging!